Nature's Theives.

------------------------
for the bastards who belittle and then barbecue bambi
put your six-shooter in your suburban-swollen sucker
and stop sending your slaves to become
sons and daughters of the gun

something in your suburbia smells of sickest flesh stench
hunters' heavy game hangs as your warning to the French
blackened bloody beef is seen as your shotgun-barrel's prize
you are nature's theif as seen in your restive rifle eyes
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Of Taco Joints and Life.

I abandoned my sweet Taco Bell today.

I felt like such a traitor as I gave in to many a request by Diana to try Taco Time, the instution which competes with my second home, the Bell.

As I walked alone through the doors of this stupid little building, I wanted to hate everything about it so much. I wanted to hate the food, and I wanted to hate the atmosphere.

The first thing I noticed was the dude who tried to play drums with us last week, he was working there. He gave me that stupid Roseburg-head-nod thing (which is SO 90's by now, right?) and then he told the other dude to give me my meal for free. See, 'cause I am in a rock band. Not.

Alright, so I got the large bean burrito and the large vanilla coke, still hoping that it would be the grossest shit so that I could go back to my happy Taco Bell and get on with my life. Well.

Hey you know what, why am I trying to make this seem all crazy? Bottom line is, this place is hot. It felt nicer in there than in the Bell, and the burrito was fresher, and possibly better, than at the Bell. I didn't feel sick afterward like I had eaten some chemicals and shit. The hot sauce was fair, although there isn't anything like Taco Bell's Fire Sauce. It was a pleasant experience, and there were no creepy mental guys coming in and grinning at me, like they have at Taco Bell.

So now theres this dilemma, see? Because I like the trashiness of Taco Bell. I sorta dig that sick feeling in my stomach after I eat the little burrito, and I also sorta like those mental guys. Well, maybe not the mental guys, but they do have Mountain Dew at the Bell, and not at Taco Time. Oh and also if I start frequenting the Time, then I will miss that wierd lady who works at Taco Bell who knows my order by heart and who always tells me I should get a job there so that I don't have to pay for all this food. You see, Taco Bell is gloriously trashy. It is the crossroads of everything repulsive and beautiful about Roseburg. And my cravings are still directed toward the Bell.

I really don't know what to do. But I will admit, I was wrong about the Time. Place is respectable. Sorry Diana for hating on your favorite little fast-food joint. I will still most likely make make daily trips to Taco Bell, but now, if I am closer to the Time, that option is always available, and I just might swing by there every once in awhile, too.

Goodnight.

If you can Hear a Piano Fall, You can hear me Comin' Down the Hall

Last night was the show at Grad Night.

We got there at about 7:30 and set everything up in the main gym, including the two mics, our guitars and bass, and the keyboard which I was gonna play for one song on organ effect but couldnt because I forgot the freaking amp plug-in for it. Anyway after an hour or so we got our sound levels correct then we just took it easy until 1 AM, when the show started.

It was alright at first, there were some people watching what we were doing and sorta digging it, but after maybe four songs or so, it was like we were playing to a brick freaking wall or something. Nobody was moving, and maybe one or two people were even watching us. So when they're not into, its impossible for Ryan and I to get into it.

After about and hour of that kind of crap, a bunch of kids flooded in from somewhere and the lady had them do a dance off, and finally it was like the show came alive, and there were some kids dancing around and people were paying attention and enjoying themselves. So it was easier to get into it then, but the show went for like 3.5 hours so it felt really long and tedious.

Its hilarious because we used up our entire setlist in the first 1.5 hours, so then we just started making crap up out of nowhere, and it actually sounded alright. Ryan sang on a couple tracks, and it sounded pretty good. During our last five-minute break, toward the very end when everybody was in there, I taught Ryan and Garrett to play two White Stripes songs, "Seven Nation Army" and "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground." When we came back inside I put the vocals to both songs, and judging by the video that was taken of the show, it sounded pretty good. I was excited about that.

I got my hundred and twenty dollars then went home at 5:00 AM, not three hours before my Physics final was to begin. I am still really tired and confused or whatever.

Oh also after the show Ryan and I decided that we are gonna take a month-long break now. I told him that there is no inspiration left in the band right now, everytime we play it feels flat to me, and our songs are becoming too routine and boring.

Peace
-John

The class of two-thousand and five.

Well, today was the last day for seniors.

Over the last year, and especially the last few months, I have met so many really cool seniors. The Class of 2005 really kicks my ass. Over the past couple months, I have been meeting the kids who I should have been hanging out with for the last few years instead of the hip-hoppin wannabe-prep-star cats who I have been spending all my time with.

For instance, take Nick Lovemark. I talked to this kid for the first time a couple months back. This is one of the few kids in our school who truly knows where its at. The kind of kid who I always wished I had as a friend but never came across, so I figured this kind of person just didn't exist in this culture-deprived city. It is so unfortunate that I have finally come across Nick, and so many other friends who know whats up, just months before they have to leave. Sorry for sounding a little sentimental, but I have the feeling that if I had met Nick or any of these other kids a year ago, we would be best friends today.

So I guess it is just time and shit, and I feel like I am falling behind. Like where have I been? Do you know how much I have searched for cool kids in the last couple years, and how depressing it was not to find them anywhere? Seriously, where the hell was I? These people were just down the hall, and I missed out.

It was ripping me up today to be with these new friends all together for the last time. And I am not even a senior! But how am I not supposed to be real upset about these people leaving me behind, you know? And I guess thats the other thing I regret, is not even getting to know even more of the seniors who I know I would totally be down with, 'cause now theres no time left to do it.

I guess grad night is gonna be incredible. I think that it is a fitting way for me to close out the school year, since meeting the seniors has been one of the major themes throughout this year.

I have love for tons of these kids; Jacob B, Chan, Green, Carol, Marz, Erika, Courtney, even Quentin too (Orange R 04-05 forever y'alls), Nick the aforementioned, Aaron the radical, kids in math, oh and Ryan the bandmate. And how could I ever forget the international trinity of Alvar, Merlin, and Fran? Or the tennis cats like Justin and Tim? I will even miss Ken F, Jeff A, whether they know it or not those cats sort of taught me tolerance this year, and I really like them, no matter how bad they are at political analysis or at rapping. Those are just names that come to mind, I know there are others.

I know that when I look back on what my Junior year was like, most of what I will think of involves these people. I am happy that many are headed just to UCC, so that I can build on relationships with them, or even to U of O, where they will be within an hour from here. But then theres kids like Nick who is going to Southern California and Jacob who is headed to effing Illinois or whatever.

Time sucks. This summer I want to make a point and hang out with these kids as much as I can. Sorry this post was sort of sentimental and long, I am just sort of sad or regretful or whatever.

-Peace

Get Behind Me Satan

"there once was a story i wanted to tell, but i assumed it was one you all knew too well. maybe i was wrong. was wondering how clear we were gonna say it. how to keep us all interested enough to not drift off and start fantasizing about those romantic things. but then again, what about those things in books, and in movies? are they real? does anybody care? you ride the bus dont you? aint nobody ever bumped into you before? was it an accident? lotta questions. rhett and scarlett, what are they? cant be true love. but there are others. unrequited is a word too. its in the dictionary. after truth i beleive. everyday life i guess some others look at as romantic. but what about us people? are those elements impossible for us to experience? do you know and welcome the idea of true love, stagind, destiny, mis en scene, hope for internal completion? everyone's talking about their hurt and their rage on the radio. and the armchair judge is the family bible in primetime today. what reality is fake? then drama is superficial and not admired, the judge and the apology is shallow, love is put aside. i think theres one truth, with no subjectivity. and in the corner is a booth with some productivity. under my arm is a device with conductivity and i gave it to you. no lessons ok? the city i live in, it aint no different man! your sidewalk has less cracks in it? how spoiled we are! funny, funny, funny. but you must have bought a book, and it is a reality to hold in your thought, lets put it together though. we know not to kill after seeing a murder on the screen, but do we know not to love when we see two fulfilled? your morning can go however you want it. no one owes you breakfast for example. no one owes you a ride. and you know damn well you could walk there if you wanted to. and did you know that you could have what you need. to give is true and admirable too, but to be taken from is loss and totally false. imagine that you are being taken from. what faith is tested? what hope is wuthiering? what angel was persecuted who worked so hard at something never to acheive it? prove it to me. and what child who was innocent was pushed to the ground never to get up again? where's he/she at right now? wheres a starbucks when you need one? am i in destiny, am i in my kitchen? you're the book dammit. you are the morning. dont deny yourself with this duty-woman! dont damn yourself with a painted smile on skull-man! put it on the table. and dont deny it. whatever it is. do yourself a favor and breathe real, get it? funny, we're all still here man. nobody left, and its odd because the more you deny it, the funnier it gets. three kids are playing on the playground, and one turns to the other and says, "are they making us go to school or are we learning for the sake of beauty?" the other kids love this idea, and they laugh and pass notes about it for days. so we all know the right thing to do, and we all root for the underdog in the book, we cant help it! kick yourself off the island. she is her. he is us. the underdog wins in the book, and in real life? not just in some sports game. you know, but-- hey wouldnt it be nice if every sports team was only allowed to have team members from its own city? no trading. evil can be funny. righteousness is a barrel of laughs too. come on, we all know! its a new century, no sarcasm kids. boy these kids can take! how bout take the tongues out of their cheeks? no blasphemy. no talking under your breath. tell me what you want, and we can get it together. i'm not kidding. they wrote the books to share with you what assumed could be. they made the films to explore what you didnt get to do at work today. and they wrote the songs to fill in the gaps between being someplace, and getting there. but it by no means, don't mean, it cant be. you're probably already there, just admit it. just say it. then you'll get it. stay the truth, and hold with this word behind tooth, to know that truth pushes truth forward, and to be taken is to be held, and to be stolen from is to lose what truth you deserve, pretending this is pretending the play with no audience but yourself, the options are sometimes not options at all, but distractions of temptations to live for something or someone else instead of yourself, breathing can't be taken, the fact can't be shaken, and the truth is sitll waiting always for you. i think we're gonna be ok."
-Jack White, in the liner notes of his new album "Get Behind Me Satan," out today.

L'ennui est contre-révolutionnaire.

Have a list.
1. I haven't had Taco Bell since Friday. I am having some really wild cravings though.
2. I am amazed at the art of Banksy.
3. Derrick C. Brown is an amazing poet.
4. I can't beleive how underappreciated the new Gorillaz album is. Besides the last Radiohead album, the new Gorillaz is the most representative album of what it feels like to be living in the 2000s.
5. School is ending just as it is starting to be fun.
6. My history project is going to fail because the people in my group are being stupid.
7. This weekend was pretty dull, except for jamming today with the band.
8. I am getting really excited for this grad-night show on Sunday. We will have more people there than we had at any of our last shows. It is also our first paid show, which is actually really exciting, because it shows that we are being appreciated.
9. After that show, I am going to try to sing on some of our songs, which I know sounds sort of disastrous, but I think it might work out.
10. Sorry but I don't think this show on Friday will work out. Too much crap going on with school, etc. But I promise I will have another show sometime in the next few weeks.
11. L'ennui est contre-révolutionnaire.

Peace.

The only thing whiter than Jeff... is his car.

So Thursday night was the final Orange R production night of the year, and the last with the seniors. I seriously like every person in that class (its not even really like a class), and its sad that all the cool seniors are leaving. It was surprising to me how close some of us all got this year.

I am going to miss both Jacobs (Bentley and Green), Chan (aka Thom Yorke Jr.), Carol, Erika/Courtney/Marz/(how could i not list them all together like that?), also I will miss the presence of Quentin and Travis for sure, I never really got to know those guys very well but I like them both, oh yeah also Jessica who is a pretty good rock star in Bastard Measure.

Hell, I'll even miss Jeff, who I just so happened to MANGLE in Thursday's Rap Battle, but how can I dislike a guy who is willing to kick some rhymes with me? Plus when he said my shades look like Officer Steve, that was just brilliant (not). Or how about the time that he was like "that dumbass jon just dont know how to rhyme?" I mean, this kid speaks of true originality. Plus he admitted to thinking that Bartlett was hot. He doesn't shop at Target though (I will NEVER make the mistake of saying that again). Just playing. Wow, where am I going with this?

But no seriously I will miss the seniors a lot and I will miss seeing all you juniors every day, even though we will hang out for sure this summer, except for the one person who now hates me, but thats off topic.

But I am really excited about next year and all the new people who will join our staff. I know for sure that theres going to be some pretty awesome people rocking it in O.R. next year.

Peace.

Gettin psyched out for this ricky-rap battle, y'all.