Monopoly.

Last month my carbon-copy vigilante alter-ego lost its edge.
And now I have nothing to trim the hedge with...
The elderly man at the building store told me that saws have diamonds on the blades,
now I am going to peice them together and get filthy rich, like Hershey's chocolate.

All I could hear was "don't touch that dial,"
and I wondered why I haven't been eating in awhile...
My social security card got caught chewing the fat at the bank,
and I always lose at poker.

Monopoly is on sale at Wal*Mart today. But no matter how much you pay...